why i should be vice president

Apparently, anyone can be Vice President now. The bar has been lowered so much that even I could be Vice President. In fact, I absolutely should be Vice President. Here's why:

I lived for nearly half my life in Michigan. You can see Canada from parts of Michigan. Thus, I have the necessary foreign policy experience for this office. Now that I live in California, who borders Mexico, my foreign policy experience has doubled! Plus, when I'm out surfing, I always see those container ships heading towards Oakland from somewhere in Asia. Thus I am involved in trading missions with Asia. From my surfboard. Impressive, no?

One of the most important qualification of being Vice President is being able to not blink. I can not blink with the best of them. I'll beat anyone in a non-blinking staring contest. Bring it on, blinkers!

The 1992 campaign proved that someone who smoked pot can be President. Well, I once smoked pot. I even inhaled. Probably more than once, but who's counting?

Sarah Palin took six years and four colleges to get a journalism degree. I took ten years and two universities to get a computer science degree. Enough said.

Conventional wisdom says that you have to be religious to be elected to office. I am an atheist, but since the current Vice President is the anti-Christ, an atheist is a step up.

Dan Quayle marred his term in office by taking on Murphy Brown, a fictional TV character. I wouldn't make that mistake. I will only take on animated characters. My platform will consist of condemning Papa Smurf for promoting Communism and going after Elmer Fudd on gun issues.

I expect to hear from Obama or McCain any day now...

played by a third grader

Last night as I was cooking dinner and Jeffrey was hanging out and eating pretzels while asking his usual series of odd questions, he asked if he could put some pretzels in the water I was boiling for the pasta. Of course I said no, but he went on about how he thought boiled pretzels would be a good thing. Finally, I told him that I would boil a pretzel for him if he agreed to eat the whole thing even if he hated it. He agreed and so I boiled a pretzel for a few minutes for him.

While it was boiling, he asked if I would please try one too if he liked it. There was no way I wanted to eat a boiled pretzel, but since we are struggling to get Jeffrey to try more foods, I felt that it would set a bad example to refuse to try something he liked.

Of course, at this point, I knew he would claim to like the damn pretzel no matter what. Sure enough, when he tasted it he went on about how awesome it was and that I had to try it.

I knew he was playing me. I knew I was being punked by a third grader, but there was nothing I could do about it. I had to boil a pretzel and eat it.

Boiled pretzels taste exactly like you would expect. Soggy and warm with the salt boiled off. I can safely claim that boiled pretzels are just a bad idea.

At least I can say that the next time Jeffrey is reluctant to try something new, I am better armed than he from this incident. Is that worth eating a boiled pretzel? Probably, but the jury is still out.

a new board and a boneheaded move

While I'm extremely grateful for the free longboard that Scott gave me, I've already been feeling a desire for a shorter board, one that I can use on the waves at Ocean Beach (near our house) on more than just the calmest of days.

I've been checking craigslist regularly, hoping to find just the board I desire: something around 7 to 7.5 feet, in relatively good shape, and not too expensive at under $300. Boards of this length are often referred to as "funboards"; they fall between the longboards (9 to 10 feet) and shortboards, typically around 6 feet. They give you the stability of a longboard and the maneuverability of a shortboard. In other words, they are fun. They are funboards.

So this morning a new ad pops up for a used 7'3" Doug Haut surfboard for $150. Wow, great price, perfect length. I google "Doug Haut" and learn that he's a very well respecter board shaper in Santa Cruz and his boards typically go for around $600. I call the number and arrange to go see it. The seller lives very close to me, just on the other side of the park on 36th Ave. (we're on 35th). It's the perfect board for me and in good shape, so I buy it. I only have $20 bills and she doesn't have change so she says "how about $140?". Excellent. I am very happy.

In fact, I head straight home, grab my wetsuit and drive to Ocean Beach. I had a great time on it and even managed to get up a couple of times. I definitely like the board. It feels much better to me than the longboard I had been using. A very good board at a great price! Joy!

Now here's the boneheaded move. In my haste to get home, after putting the board on my roof rack and peeling off my wetsuit, I forgot to strap the board onto the rack. I pull out of the parking lot and in my rear view mirrow I notice something very large falling off the car! My brand new surfboard has flown off my car and is sitting in the middle of The Great Highway. OK, it's not really a highway, but a four-lane road with a speed limit of 35, but still! I stop the car in the median and go running after the board. Some kind surfer getting ready to go out runs into the road, grabs the board and meets me half way with it. I strap it on and drive home, wondering how badly it's damaged.

Thing could have been much, much worse. It could have caused a major accident. It could have been run over by a truck. It could have broken in half. Instead it just has a ding on the nose that needs to be repaired and a few other scrapes. With a $20 repair kit and a few hours time, it should be nearly as good as new.

From now on, I will double and triple check those straps before driving off with a surfboard on my car!

surf's up

Once we moved to our current house, I found myself often going to the beach, less than a mile away, and watching the surfers. Finally, I decided I just had to try that myself. So in June I talked Stella into taking surfing lessons with me in Bolinas, a cute little town about 40 minutes north of San Francisco where the waves are gentle and not too crowded. (No, that is not me in the photo.)

We had a blast! The following month I purchased my own wetsuit (you need a thick wetsuit to surf in these cold northern California waters!) and did some surfing closer to home, in Pacifica, about 15-20 minutes away. After a couple of times renting a board there, a co-worker of Stella's was kind enough to pass on his old long board to me. Beginners typically start on a "long board" around 9 feet long. Advanced surfers move to short boards around 6 feet. The longer a board, the more stable it is and easier to get up on.

So now I have my own wetsuit and surfboard! And I've found that if I start work at 6:30am, I can take a long lunch break and go surfing for a couple of hours. So I've been doing that whenever I can.

Most days I make the drive to Linda Mar Beach in Pacifica, just south of San Francisco. The waves are nicely shaped there, and well spaced apart, making it easy to get out on a board. The main drawback is that it is crowded. It's hard to carve out your own spot to surf without worrying about running into someone (or someone running into you).

Some days I go to Ocean Beach, which is less than a mile from here and just a couple of minutes by car. But the waves here can be intense. They are usually spaced too close together to get out on a longboard; you really need a shortboard to surf here. But on some days, it's doable with my long board.

I went out twice last week and twice so far this week. I didn't realize how hard surfing can be. It's a challenge to stand up in one motion just as you're catching the wave. I usually go tumbling off the board and get tossed around by the wave, covering my head with my arms so the board doesn't slam into my head. But I feel I'm on the verge of "getting it". I hope to move up to a short board by the time winter sets in. Right now, though, my wimpy little bicep muscles feel like jelly, so I need to take a couple of days off. Surfing really takes a surprising amount of upper body strength, which I clearly need more of.

I think this new found surfing obsession is of some concern to Stella, though. She's afraid I'll drown, get eaten by a shark, or even worse, turn into a stereotypical Surfer Dude.

This isn't me either, although my wipeouts are nearly as spectacular!

yet another palin post

At the risk of adding to Palin overload, I have to post one little item about her. Stella sent me an article that I feel compelled to share. It's an email written by a resident of Wasilla, the town in Alaska where Palin was once Mayor. It's a very frank history of Sarah Palin and her roots in politics. Very much worth reading.

And if you are considering voting for McCain (although I can't imagine who would read this blog and consider voting for McCain), please read this.

About Sarah Palin: an e-mail from Wasilla

"Karl Rove bitterly divided on the experience issue"

This clip from The Daily Show is a must see, perfecting exposing the hypocracy of Karl Rove and others. Brilliant!

more on sarah palin

It appears that I was wrong about Sarah Palin in my "This is what we came home for?" post. It does appear that there was no baby cover up and that she really did have that last baby herself. And I don't believe now that she will withdraw her nomination. In fact, conservatives, particularly the religious right, have rallied behind her in ways I didn't expect. And the more I learn about her the more concerned I get. The idea of her becoming president is truly terrifying. Here are just a few of my concerns:

The AP article Palin: Iraq war 'a task that is from God' reveals how Palin seems to inject God and religion into her political life. She claims that the US sent troops to Iraq on "a task that is from God" and called a plan to build a $30 billion natural gas pipeline in the state "God's will."


According to this NY Times article, immediately upon becoming the mayor of Wasilla, Palin tried to get books she deemed "offensive" banned from the town library. The librarian resisted any attempts at censorship so Palin fired her. This didn't go over well with the townspeople so she eventually gave the librarian her job back. Do we really want a book banner in the White House?


She repeatedly touts her opposition to the Alaskan so-called "bridge to nowhere", saying "I told the Congress 'thanks, but no thanks,' for that Bridge to Nowhere." But the Ketchikan Daily News reported in 2006:

“Palin said Alaska’s congressional delegation worked hard to obtain funding for the bridge as part of a package deal and that she ‘would not stand in the way of the progress toward that bridge.”

So she is a liar too. Perhaps she is a good fit in Washington after all.


In a video interview with Larry Kudlow (June 2008), she responds to a question about the number two slot by saying she'd like to know "what is it exactly that the Vice President does every day" and that she'd like to ensure that the position is "fruitful," especially for Alaska.

So just over two months ago she didn't know what the VP does. And her primary concern with the job seems to be to promote Alaska, rather than representing the entire US.


And, as is well known, she is under investigation for abuse of power for the so-called "Troopergate", where she tried to force the Alaskan Public Safety Commissioner to fire her brother-in-law as he was going through a messy divorce with Palin's sister. In fact, she has a history of firing people she doesn't like or that she feels isn't 100% behind her agenda.


The more I read about Sarah Palin the more frightened I become. John McCain is 72 years old and if he wins he will be the oldest elected president in US history. That, sadly, makes the idea of President Palin a very realistic possibility. You thought President Bush was bad? I fear a President Palin may well be even worse.

more insanity in St. Paul

A woman, standing on the side of the road holding a flower, is pepper sprayed by the police. See the video here.

What the fuck?????

Glenn Greenwald is documenting the madness at Salon.com.

This is what we came home for?

We just got back from a long weekend in Yosemite and it seems as if the country has gone insane. Of course, it already was insane, but now it seems even more insane.

As we neared Oakland on our drive back we turned on NPR to hear All Things Considered. Initially we felt relief that Hurricane Gustav turned out to be fairly minor. Then we heard that Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. Well... ok. That happens. Not such a big deal, really, except we all know what the right-wing media & blogs would be doing if it were Obama's or Biden's daughter. But the real story here seems to be that Palin may have actually covered up her daughter's previous pregnancy. It is appearing that Palin suddenly announced she was seven months pregnant, then gave birth to a baby with Down Syndrome. The speculation is that this may have actually been her daughter's child and she merely covered this up by claiming she was pregnant. I'm sure this will get sorted out eventually, but it does appear likely that some sort of lie or coverup has happened here. The choice of Palin for running mate was certainly a strange one, but it appears to be looking worse and worse. I predict that she will "withdraw" her nomination (much like Harriet Miers) before too long.

But the real shocker is the police and government reaction to the protests at RNC convention in Minneapolis. The more I read about it the madder I get. Rather than try to sum things up, check out these links for more info:

Salon.com: Massive polive raise on suspected protesters in Minneapolis

Daily Kos: The Police State in Minneapolis

I-Witness Video blog

Perhaps what most shocked me was what happened to the I-Witness group. This is a group whose only purpose is to videotape police behavior at protests to document abuse by the authorities. Their actions at the 2004 convention helped get charges dismissed against hundreds of protesters who were arrested. The police surrounded the St. Paul house where they were meeting even though they had no warrant, told them that anyone who exited the house would be arrested, and then -- even though they finally, after several hours, obtained a warrant only for the house next door -- basically broke into the house, pointed weapons at everyone inside, handcuffed them, searched the house, and then left.

If this kind of behavior goes unchallenged then we surely do live in a police state. I feel disgusted.